Therapist > The Rapist. Talk Therapy is a rap. Of course, a lot of talk therapy is actually listening. Listening is one of the most critical elements in not only effective therapy, but good communication. Based on listening, talk becomes much more poignent and relevant.
The trouble with talking is that we use words to represent a vast complex web of experience. Words are often feeble representatives. If one person says to another “I’m feeling depressed” or “I had such a great time last night” we think we know what they mean by assuming our unique, individual psyche is pretty much the same as theirs. We think “depressed” or “great time” for them is the same as it would be for us. Of course, that may not be the case.
“The single biggest problem in communication
is the illusion that it has taken place.”
- George Bernard Shaw
It’s been said that we have two ears to listen and one mouth to speak, and we should use them as such in about that proportion. The art of listening is what makes talk therapy work at all and the more skilled a person is in listening, the better they are at real talk therapy. More importantly, listening is the key ingredient in good relationships, both personal and professional.
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
– Ernest Hemingway
