The trouble with talking is that we use words to represent a vast complex web of experience. Words are often feeble representatives. If one person says to another “I’m feeling depressed” or “I had such a great time last night” we think we know what they mean by assuming our unique, individual psyche is pretty much the same as theirs. We think “depressed” or “great time” for them is the same as it would be for us. Of course, that may not be the case.

“The single biggest problem in communication

is the illusion that it has taken place.”

- George Bernard Shaw

It’s been said that we have two ears to listen and one mouth to speak, and we should use them as such in about that proportion. The art of listening is what makes talk therapy work at all and the more skilled a person is in listening, the better they are at real talk therapy. More importantly, listening is the key ingredient in good relationships, both personal and professional.

When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.

– Ernest Hemingway

“The mind is its own place and, in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”

The mind uses language, words, internal dialogue and mental pictures to form its “reality.” Psychotherapy, especially talk therapy,  relies very heavily on language and words. But, general communication and relationship does as well.

Words are not the only medium of communication. What is typically referred to as non-verbal communication is actually visual communication and a great deal of the messages we send, and receive, are visual, not verbal. Visual communication is quite potent. A bold gesture with one finger can cause a person to become infuriated. A shy smile can make a person happy. A single  image is worth a thousand verbalizations….

Words, as symbols, both visual and auditorial (i.e., the written word and the spoken word),  and purely visual images, such as a photograph, a painting, or even one’s own imagination, have noticeable influence  on  thoughts, moods, feelings and behaviors. But, more interesting is how psyche, how the mind, translates  images and words into meanings . For it is that process by which psyche  becomes the captain of her own domain and can choose to view a glass as half empty, or half full……